Worst part is the waiting

We haven't heard anything further about the baby that is being born today/tomorrow that we were called about.  I did talk to the social worker yesterday and I got the sense that there is a lot of uncertainty over whether mom will decide to place or not.  So there's that.

There are at least two other families that will be shown (up to four others - the social worker still hadn't heard from two of the five families she'd contacted when I talked to her yesterday afternoon).  So there's that.

The baby being born is 100% non-Caucasian.  We are currently a 100% Caucasian family.  So, I feel like it's unlikely that a mom and dad would place their non-Caucasian child in a fully Caucasian family.  There's all that.

In our profile and in our paperwork, we talk a lot about our open adoption with Aurora and that we look forward to having an open relationship with the next baby's family.  We talk about wanting to get to know mom and dad on a personal level.  We know that this mom and dad don't want to meet the prospective family and want limited contact.  So ya, there's also that.

I feel like there's a lot pointing towards a big fat no.  But a big part of me is really wanting this to work out.  I want another baby really badly, and situations like this remind me of this so much.  I feel anxious and I feel sad.  I feel hopeful, but the realistic side of me is screaming that there is a very slim chance this is going to work out.

Mom was/will be induced today ...  my google search and experience with Moonbeam's birth is that it will be a minimum of 12 hours between induction and birth, which means baby won't be born until tonight or tomorrow.

We'll know more tomorrow and we'll know for certain on Monday ...  the social worker told me she'd call us on Monday either way.

It's hard to keep this private in our normal lives - I've had to let work know that I may not be there as of Monday b/c I may have to drive 3 hours to get the baby from the hospital.  I've had to arrange childcare for Moonbeam in the event that we have to bolt tomorrow.  I've had to rearrange plans I've had with friends in the event that we have an early morning wake up and mad dash to pick up our new son/daughter.

I hate this part.  I really, really hate this part.  The worst part is the waiting.